


Enter Weapon X

by taaffeite



Series: Not Quite Hero Material [1]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Gen, Wade adopts a brainwashed assassin, impulse control who?, no actual MCU characters as of yet, no beta we die like men, pre main plot of Deadpool, sort of pre Deadpool (2016)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27630050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taaffeite/pseuds/taaffeite
Summary: Wade meets X and immediately wants to adopt her, never mind that she's an adult, or that she was a former HYDRA asset.
Relationships: Vanessa Carlysle & Original Female Character(s), Vanessa Carlysle/Wade Wilson, Wade Wilson & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Not Quite Hero Material [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020183
Kudos: 2





	1. Little Girl Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade meets a mysterious redhead at Sister Margaret’s, and no, that’s not the beginning of a kinky porno.

_**NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK**_  
_**SISTER MARGARET’S SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD CHILDREN**_  
_**1ST OCTOBER 2014**_

_**WADE POV**_

**DRINK. DRINK. DRINK.** Wade needed a drink. It was all he could think about as he pushed the door to Sister Margaret’s open. He didn’t take notices of the other patrons instead heading straight for the bar, Weasel nodded at him in greeting and set down a bottle of cheap shitty bear. The best kind of beer. Well, not really but he wasn’t about to buy expensive beer – did Weasel even stock expensive anything? Probably not. Cheap ass. He liked shooting the shit with his favourite bartender as they drank – a bartender drinking on the job? A scandal if there ever was one – it was a treasured part of his evening ritual. As they drank Wade took notice of something bright out of the corner of his eyes, eventually it distracted him enough to draw his full attention. He turned in his seat to see a young woman with vibrant orange hair sitting in a dark corner of the bar. 

“Wease,” he stared. “You seen that girl before?”

Weasel’s eyes flickered over to her, Wade noted that he paled slightly. “Uh, yeah, she’s been coming here for a few days.” His voiced dropped to a whisper as he continued, “she’s kinda scary.”

“Really? She looks… sad?” Okay, maybe not sad in the sense of sorrow or anything, sad in the sense that looking at her made him sad. She actually looked rather… apathetic? Detached? “I’m gonna go talk to her.”

“Your funeral, man.”

He kept his approach casual, as non-threatening as possible, she still glared at him as soon as she noticed him which has been about as soon as he stood. At least she didn’t look ready to jump him, that was something at least. So, he sat and signalled to Weasel to bring them some drinks. Weasel reluctantly approached, shuffling his feet and squirming. Wade almost outright laughed as his friend gulped under the stare of the girl. He was quick to retreat after the drinks were set down, a drink the girl didn’t even touch. She just eyed it and then looked to Wade with suspicion. He found himself reaching over and taking a sip of the drink to assure her he was not, in fact, trying to poison her or some shit, and then he pushed the drink back over to her. She eyed it again but did pick it up and take a drink, she nodded at him as she placed it down. Point for Wade.

They didn’t talk – well, she didn’t talk but he could always talk enough for two people. She spent most of the night looking at him like she was trying to figure him out. Good luck, Kid. Still, she wasn’t bad company. Actually, he was pretty sure that he liked her, deadly glares, clenching fists, and perpetual silence included. And all too soon came Weasel’s second reluctant approach, it was closing time and everyone was getting the boot. She nodded and dropped some crumpled notes on the table.

“Nah, it’s good. I got it,” Wade assured. A blank look was all be received in return. She left the money where it was dropped on the table and walked out. That was cool too. Wade turned to Weasel with a grin, the blond returned the look uneasily. “Isn’t she great?”

“What?” Weasel frowned. “No, she’s scary as hell. Now get out, I gotta close.”

Yeah, yeah. Wade threw down his own handful of notes on his way out. The late-night air was crisp and he couldn’t help but wonder if the girl actually had anywhere warm to go, her clothes didn’t exactly look all thick. He shook the thought off, there wasn’t really anything he could do, not now. Maybe when he saw her again she would talk, probably not but he could hope. Vanessa would like her too, he was sure. With that thought an idea popped into his head. Sure, he and Vanessa hadn’t been dating all that long, they hadn’t really talked about marriage or kids but Wade was pretty positive that the girl from the bar was actually a kid-kid. Why couldn’t they just… adopt her? Unofficially.

No, that was a bad idea. Or was it? Yeah, the chick could actually be a psycho. But he didn’t think so. She was apathetic and emotionless but not hostile or violent. Weasel was scared of her but Weasel was scared of a lot of things – like his own shadow. Adopting the girl was a good idea, and even if it wasn’t a good idea he was gonna go it anyway.  
Vanessa was waiting for him, watching Adult Swim reruns on the couch. She lit up when he walked through the door, she threw herself over the back of the couch and into his waiting arms, littering his face with kisses. When she pulled back she wore a large grin.

“What took you so long?” she pouted. “You said you’d only be gone an hour or two?”

Wade grinned down at her. “I met someone.”

Ness raised an eyebrow, her pout turning into a smirk. “Oh?”

“Orange hair, apathetic look but a glare that makes Weasel want to crawl into a hole and cry,” he informed.

“I like her already.”

“I want to adopt her,” he said earnestly.

She laughed, the audacity, but halted when she noted the serious look on his face. “Seriously? Wade, what was a kid doing in Weasel’s bar?”

“Uh, I don’t think she’s a kid.”

She laughed again. “Wade, you can’t adopt someone if they aren’t a kid.”

“Sure you can,” he said with a shrug as he set her down.

“Wade–”

“No, hear me out,” he interrupted. “I love her.”

Her eyes shone with amusement. “Is this your thing? Meet a woman, spend a night with them, fall in love?”

“No, it’s not the same,” he insisted with a grin. “She’s my platonic soulmate.”

“And you know that after one night?”

“I knew I wanted to be with you after one night.”

“Well, what do you know about her?” 

“Nothing,” he shrugged as he sat next to her on the couch.

“W–nothing? You spent the whole night with her and you know nothing about her?” she asked incredulous.

“Yeah, I sat there and talked, she said nothing, glared a people a bit.”

“Wade, do you even know her name?”

What kinda question? He just said she didn’t talk. “No.”

“Where’s she’s from? How old she is? Anything at all?”

“No. She didn’t say anything, how would I know any of that?”

“Wade,” she groaned in exasperation. “How would you even know where to find her again?”

He perked up. “So, you’re on board.”

“I didn’t say that,” but she had a little smile on her face that said maybe she was at least a little bit on board.

“Mmhm,” he sent her his puppy dog eyes.

Vanessa shrugged at him. “If you find her again, maybe try get some information out of her. And then I’ll think about it.”

“You’ve already thought about it.”

“Maybe I just want to see you sweat.”

“I can think of a better way for you to make me sweat,” he said waggling his eyebrows at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Featured In This Chapter  
> Wade and Vanessa do indeed find a better way to sweat  
> The Weapon does not have somewhere warm to go, but thanks to her environmental adaptation that doesn’t really matter to her  
> The Weapon isn’t sure why but she might trust the strange man who doesn’t know how to shut up
> 
> due to the fact that the X-Men Movieverse timeline is complete trash I have decided to ignore it almost completely. For the purposes of this series Wade and Vanessa met in February of 2014


	2. This Is Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a month of what was essentially stalking Wade finally brings his two girls together.

_**NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK** _  
_**SISTER MARGARET’S SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD CHILDREN** _  
_**31ST OCTOBER 2014** _

_**WEAPON X POV** _

**SHE WAS AT** the bar again, sitting in her corner – and it was hers, even when she came later no one would dare sit there – waiting for the strange man called Wade. He came in every night, sat with her, ordered a few drinks and talked at her until closing. He always offered to pay even though she always refused to pick up her money once she put it down – and she always the first one to put it down. He was growing on her; maybe even becoming safe. She didn’t feel the need to test the drinks he got her, and maybe, just maybe she had started cracking smiles this past week. Even the one they call Weasel was growing on her, though she had actually grown to enjoy how she made him pale, it amused (a word she had read in a book at the library and then looked up further for a better understanding) her how easily he scared – especially when he owned a bar that’s main patronage were contact killers and mercenaries.

The Weapon could hear his approach from a couple blocks away, she knew his gait very well by now. She straightened in her chair when he walked in, her mood rising–becoming better–brightening, and when he spotted her he grinned. Her head tilted in curiosity – like that one book she read about the little monkey – when she noticed the bag in his hand. It was fuller than usual – he’d come to the bar after a job with it before but it was usually half empty. Wade picked up two beers from the bar on his way to her corner.

“I come bearing gifts!” he chuckled to himself prompting her to raise an eyebrow – Weasel had been jealous that she could do it and he couldn’t the first time it happened. “Okay, so the blue one is for you,” he pulled out a fluffy blue suit and waved it in front of her. “That’s Grumpy Bear. And the orange one is Friend Bear, for me.”

She raised her other eyebrow, silently asking, ‘and what the fuck do you want me to do with it?’

In the past month Wade had gotten really good at reading her expressions so while their conversations tended to be – read; were always – one sided they could still communicate pretty well. “Put it on! We’re going to party!”

‘Really?’

“Yes really! It’s Halloween. Come on!” The audacity of him to have expected her to know what the fuck that even was. “It’s the one night a year where we can eat enough candy to kill a man and not get judged about it.” Wade wasn’t as convincing as he seemed to think, the Weapon remained unmoved. “Come on! Please! It’ll be fun.”

A pout formed on his face and all she could think was ‘ah shit.’ She didn’t like disappointing or upsetting him, even when he was just pretending. The Weapon almost wanted to sigh as she put her hand out in demand. He knew what he was doing by pouting at her, and it was mean. They both headed to the bathroom to change, and the Weapon did briefly consider getting out of there but discarded the idea almost as quickly as it came. She had never been to a party before, and she actually wasn’t all that sure what a party was but she was curious. They managed to exit the bathroom at the same time and Wade looked all too pleased that she hadn’t tried to escape and instated accepted her fate. 

According to Wade the party was being head a couple of blocks away. As it turned out, a couple of blocks to Wade actually meant twelve. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t just go to one of the other parties they passed on the way – they all seemed to be the same, loud music and lots of people in various states of dress sporting costumes of various styles. The party they seemed to be heading to was gathering a large crowd. And inside was worse. Under the flashing lights were dozens of people, all crammed into the space with little room to move about. It would be easy for one to eliminate a target and disappear into the crowd before anyone else took notice of what had happened – no. No. she didn’t need to think like that anymore. 

She was more than a little thankful when Wade grabbed her hand so they didn’t lose each other – it helped ground her. He snagged them some drinks during their walkthrough of the house and took a sip of one before handing it back to her. No one approached them, though that was probably due to the glare she shot anyone who got too close or looked at them for too long.

Eventually she had enough of wading through the crows and pulled him into a dark corner. It was a rather good vantage point; she could see several exits and there were a few less people milling around. She was a little too much on guard, it was a new place with new people and you could never be too sure who was going to be a threat. Wade shifted beside her.

“So, you come here often?” She shot him a look that screamed ‘you’re an idiot’. “Okay, not funny. So, we’ve known each other for pretty much a month and you haven’t spoken a word to me… you gonna talk anytime soon?”

She contemplated for a moment before she smirked in her cup. “You are more than capable of talking for the both of us.” 

“Holy shit!” she peered up to see his eyes wide and mouth agape. His expression shifted into a frown before turning thoughtful, and then he frowned again. “Oh my god! Oh my god! Tell em everything.”

A sly smile spread across her lips. “Net.” (No)

“Please! Come on!”

“Ask questions, maybe I will answer, maybe I will not.”

He is silent for a moment before he settled on, “Let’s start with something easy. What’s your name?”

“Net,” she shook her head, he had to pick the hardest question first, didn’t he?

“What? You won’t even give me your name–”

“You misunderstand,” she cut him off before he really got talking. “I… do not have name.”

“How can you not…?” a deep frown marred his face. “Everyone has a name.”

How could she possibly explain to him? Tell him that, yes, technically she did have a name but she cannot use it. Not anymore. The name didn’t belong to her anymore. It belonged to a little girl who was murdered so that the Weapon could live. It felt wrong to use it. “Not me.”

“Well… what do other people call you?”

She hesitated, her eyes falling to the red liquid in her cup. She knew about the SHIELD file leak, and she knew that SHILED had files on her – obviously, she was a dangerous assassin there had to be at least some information on her out there. But she had been a ghost, much like the Winter Soldier, so there wouldn’t be anything too substantial. No, all of the real information was located in top-secret HYDRA files–which she had stolen copies off before destroying the originals. Still, whatever was out there would have been enough to label her as extremely dangerous. And she didn’t want Wade to not want to be her friend – were they friends? She liked to think so. She had never had a friend before. And Wade was safe. She didn’t want him to go. 

When she looked back up at him he was shooting her an encouraging look. She took a deep breath and muttered, “Weapon X.”

Now, the Weapon liked to think she knew at least a little bit about emotions (amusement, disappointment, guilt) from her reading at the Public Library but many of the emotions that passed across Wade’s face were none she seemed to know – except anger, she knew anger well (almost as well a guilt). It took him a moment to collect himself and his expression to return to its casual smile. “Well, that won’t do. How about, for now, we just call you X. Until we find something better?”

“Yes, this will be good.”

“Awesome.” She expected him to ask more questions but when he opened his mouth next he instead said, “And Vanessa can help out, she’s excited to meet you.” 

“Who is Vanessa?” she asked with a curious head tilt.

“Oh, my girlfriend, usually just call her Ness when we talk,” he said it like he didn’t realise she wouldn’t make the connection between the two.

Yes, he had mentioned Girlfriend Ness many times. Why he called her Ness and not Vanessa was lost on her but she wasn’t about to question him on it. People did a lot of things she didn’t understand. Wade made a little noise and mumbled something about a picture before he pulled his wallet out of… well, the Weapon – no, X – didn’t really want to know. He handed her a little square. In the little square was Wade, his arm thrown around a woman, a beautiful woman with long dark hair and deep brown eyes. X gentry ran her fingers over Vanessa’s face.

“I wish to meet Vanessa now,” she said, handing back the picture.

“Now? Right now?” X nodded. “Okay, sure thing, kid.”

Vanessa’s club – where she worked and didn’t own – was a couple blocks from Sister Margaret’s which meant that they had to backtrack the twelve blocks they walked to the party. Wade didn’t seem to mind, in fact, he seemed rather… happy. He grabbed her hand as they walked and skipped around with her, singing something about ‘This is Halloween’. She skipped with him and found herself giggling at his renditions of various Halloween songs – as if they had any meaning to her.

A neon sign bearing the silhouette of a woman hung along the corner of the building. She tilted her head at the name that was printed above the door, it was stupid. The interior was a leap above the exterior, dimly lit with a few coloured low lights hung over the bar and tables, and brighter lights near the stage. Scantily clad women pranced around, and X noticed that they shot Wade smiles – like they knew him which they probably did seeing as his girlfriend worked with them. Wade led her to the bar and ordered two drinks, neither beer. She didn’t make a move to touch hers and Wade was quick to take the hint – better him than her because if the drink was spiked by an enemy she could get them out easier than he could and then fix him. She took a sip after he returned the drink with no ill effects; her eyes widened and she was quick to down the rest.

“Like it?” She nodded. “Bar keep, one more please.” The drink was set down in front of her with a small smile. “Savour it this time.”

“Lando.” (Okay)

As she sipped at her drink a voice sounded over the club, Wade straightened and grinned, overenthusiastically shaking X’s shoulder and telling her ‘look, look, it’s Ness!’ The woman who stepped out onto the stage was even more beautiful in person, especially under the dimmed stage lights. And the way she danced. Wow. She practically glowed under the low lights; her body moved and writhed to the beat in a way that mesmerised the Weapon. But all too soon it was over and Vanessa was leaving the stage. X hid her pout in her cup and turned to see Wade doing much the same. When she looked back to the stage another dancer had taken Vanessa’s place, equally as pretty and just as good at dancing.

X tipped her cup against her lips to discover her drink was empty again, her pout returned. She swung around on the stool, the bartender chucked at her and immediately proceeded to make another drink. When X turned back around Vanessa was approaching, a grin directed at Wade – and wow she was prettier up close. She clutched her glass tightly as Wade pumped up and pulled her to him. A strange feeling nestled in her belly, one she didn’t much like. It made her want to sleep and the Weapon did not run away from anything (except the base but that was different). X blinked at a cracking sound, there was a small, sharp pain in her hand, and the glass gave way.

“Oh!” a hand cupped her’s and X looked up into concerned brown eyes. “Are you okay?”

She didn’t have enough knowledge to deal with the situation. Why was Wade’s Girlfriend Ness looking at her like that? And why was Wade looking at her like that? Wade turned her in her chair and Vanessa took the towel the bartender handed her, pressing it firmly into X’s hand. It hurts – but only a little – because there was still glass in it. X shifted the towel to allow her access to the glass, she pulled it out and the wound closed up instantly. She looked up to see Wade and Vanessa looking shocked. Ah yes, that wouldn’t have been in SHIELD’s files on her.

“Neat,” Wade mattered under his breath.

Vanessa swatted him and X almost wanted to break her hand because why would she hit him but then Wade laughed and X realised that she didn’t hit him hard or to hurt him. “Are you okay, Sweetie?”

What kinda question? Of course, she was okay, her would was gone in an instant and hadn’t even really hurt while she had it. X nodded. Wade replaced the broken glass with a full one and wrapped an arm around her shoulders (which she didn’t know how to feel about). 

“Vanessa this is X, and X, this is Vanessa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [powers used in this chapter: regenerative healing factor]
> 
> Not Featured In This Chapter  
> Over the past month of knowing Wade the Weapon has picked up his mannerisms and started stealing his personality because she doesn’t have one, of course Wade hasn’t noticed but Ness sure does  
> Wade met up with the Weapon literally every day at the same time and then proceeded to talk the entire time, told all of his life story, all of Weasel’s life story, and even most of Vanessa’s life story  
> He also stalked her to her warehouse/home a few times, and followed her around a few times, she knew of course but never said anything  
> There isn’t actually much about Weapon X in the leaked files but enough to know that the Weapon probably had a bad time TM and is dangerous  
> Vanessa and Wade take X home, and never let her leave
> 
> X, gets nervous, unintentionally breaks shit during her inner turmoil: oops  
> Vanessa, seeing X the disaster human: we’re keeping her
> 
> X really latched on to the first people who were nice to her didn’t she? Lol same


End file.
